I’m Not Qualified

Seen online today: a job posting for a Head Lice Removal Technician.
There is such a thing as that? Who knew?
(Also, yuck.)


 Disgusted Kristin Wiig


Not one to pass by such an intriguing heading, I had to click on it, just to see for myself. The ad tells me I would be “proud” to work for and represent this company.
(Not my first choice of adjectives, I must say. Though I applaud those who do. Truly.) 


Apparently they are looking to expand their “staff of head lice professionals”, and they offer “extensive training in treatment protocol”.
(I should certainly hope so.)


One must be able to pass a criminal background check, be able to use a GPS accurately for those on-call hours at clients’ homes, and buy one’s own “good lamp and magnifier”, as well as professional grade lice combs which will then be re-sold “at a profit” to clients.
(They will obviously be ready to buy due to the heebie-jeebie factor alone.)


Oh, and of course one must have “seen and dealt with lice before even if informal, such as with your children”.
(Darn. That knocks me right out of the running, because I am a whiz with a GPS. Curses on my kids and their never-liced scalps.)


Did I mention? The job pays $30 per hour.
(I’m not sure that’s enough.)


Photo Source: http://www.reactionface.info/face/disgusted-kristen-wig

(Please note the similar reaction to both toe fungus and head lice.)


© Monica Simpson and Help To Hope, 2013